Lunar Tide
by empigg
Summary: Bella wanted so desperately to be a vampire. But when all her beliefs are destroyed, how will she feel? What will happen to the world she thought she knew so well? Disclaimer:All rights to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing.
1. Intro

I screamed. The pain was so immense. I promised myself that I wouldn't scream. I promised that I wouldn't show the pain. If he saw something he didn't like, I knew he would stop. And then...well. Then what would I do??

But I was sure that something was wrong now. After all-wasn't it supposed to be a relatively quick bite, just long enough to inject the venom. So was I just imagining the fangs still piercing my skin?? The lips enclosing my hand, the sucking noises, the feeling of the blood slowly draining out of me??

I struggled against the fire in my veins, and opened my eyes, expecting to meet Edwards, for reassurance.

But instead, I saw black irises. And the red slowly creeping in the edges.

And the face of Carlisle.


	2. Chapter One

I felt weaker than I ever had in my life. Even when I was drowning. I heard whispered voices, but nothing was clear. Every muscle in my body was dragged down by some invisible force. I couldn't move a thing, and I thought I was in a coma.

Giving up on the attempts to move, or see, or even hear properly, I tried thinking properly. I couldn't remember the last thing I'd seen, the last thing I'd done-why was I like this?? What had happened to me, to force me into this state??

I tried to clear through the fog in my mind-and silently thought-gasped. I saw Carlisle's chalk-white face looming out of the darkness, staring at me, grinning, his black irises, devoid of the normal honey gold, staring into me, before he revealed a set of fangs, and plunged them into my hand.

I winced, and tried to scream, though I could make no sound. Apart from the terrible, terrifying pain, I couldn't remember anything else. I don't remember anyone saving me. No one coming, as before, to wrench the vampire away, before sucking the venom from my system.

But, wasn't that kind of what I wanted?? To become a vampire??

But...

Was I dead?? Was that why I could feel nothing?? Had Carlisle (although it hurt me so much to think of him that way) emptied my veins??

How could Carlisle do that?? How could he attack me (as I'm sure he had), and then do such a thing?? Him, of the strongest resolve??

I couldn't make it make sense. It was like (cliché, I know) pieces of a jigsaw, all jumbled. I couldn't make them fit together-and in a way, I didn't really want them to.

I relaxed, halting my thoughts, clearing my head. I wanted to know what being dead was really like. Where were those whispers coming from?? And _what_ from?? What were they saying??

And what was I going to do for the rest of eternity??

I heard the slam of a door-although somewhat distantly, as though very far away. I heard a woman sobbing, hysterical, and others trying to comfort her and calm her down. It didn't sound like it was working.

"B-B-Bella…oh, God, Bella…" The voices were getting sharper, and more distinct. I was shocked to hear my name, and to find that I recognized, somehow the voice, though I couldn't place it. What kind of death was this?? I wanted some heaven.

Did this mean…that I have a soul?? I didn't feel very spiritual. I feel more locked in flesh than ever. Just one more try…

I fought with the fatigue, and managed to slowly open my eyes. Naturally, the light hurt, and I had to blink, slowly, several times, to come to anywhere near a state of awareness.

I looked around the well-lit and whitewashed room, and discovered that I wasn't, in fact, dead. Just lying in a hospital bed, still alive.

I heard shrieks, before a body crashed onto mine. The breath was knocked out of me, and I heard a strong, disapproving voice scold whoever it was.

And, it turned out to be Renee. I felt my heart swell as I looked at my mother-and then tears pricked my eyes as I saw the state of her. She looked terrified.

And then I remembered. The one person who I so desperately wanted to see. The one who I'd been separated from before, and the act of which almost killed me. He had to be here…

But he wasn't. Had Edward abandoned me…

Again??


	3. Chapter Two

So. They had to do a blood transfusion, apparently. I had lost more than three quarters of my blood when I was brought in, and still more was leaving my veins. By rights I should be dead. But somehow, I managed to stay alive.

I was curious as to exactly what had happened to me. I knew Carlisle had broken, and not only injected the venom into my system, but went wild with lust, and feasted on my blood.

And yet, I was almost certain that I was still human. I had no thirst for blood-I felt thoroughly normal. Save the complete and utter exhaustion. Which left the question of who saved me, and how the venom was extracted from my system. If it had been left, then I would be a vampire now-a young vampire, strong, ruthless, and uncontrollable.

Which, at one point, I longed more than anything to be. Now-now, I was not so sure.

I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

Everyone thought that Carlisle was strong. He had described to me himself about how he could not smell human blood anymore, or at least, only faintly, and it wasn't tempting. I admired him, and wished to be as strong, as withstanding as him.

But, if the one thing that I could trust was blown to smithereens-well, so was my whole belief system. Even from my lonely hospital bed I looked at the world with a wary eye. Before I had sensed danger, and feared it. But now, I felt something altogether-something more to paranoia. I tensed every time someone approached, a slightest sound would make me jump. No one knew what had happened to me, and they decided I was traumatized by whatever it was.

And, for once, they were right.

Naturally, I had no idea where Carlisle was. He had disappeared, without a trace, it seemed. The hospital were completely distraught-they had lost their best doctor for the second time-now, for no good reason.

I thought, perhaps, that the others might visit. I envisioned them walking in through the door, heads hung in shame, and I would look into their eyes for confirmation of it all. I would be miserable, needless to say-but I'm sure we could have got over it. We would seek out Carlisle, and try to understand what went wrong.

And then me and Edward could go ahead with our plans.

But it seemed that that would never come to be. I had not heard a word from the Cullens. They had disappeared with Carlisle, and that pulled my heart down. They had all left, like they had once before-this time with no warning, no fake explanation.

And for a few days, I wallowed in that. I thought constantly of them, of ways I could make them come back, of ways I could track them down, and convince them that there was nothing wrong, that I didn't hate them.

But…maybe, now, they hated me?? Maybe, my fiancé had turned his back on me because he couldn't bear me. Despite all the promises, maybe they found being around a human too trying, too much of a risk. And that's why they left.

Strangely, I accepted it easily. I knew that things moved on quickly, and that everything changed, whether you wanted it to or not. Obviously something in me had changed drastically, which meant that I was able to appreciate this, and, in turn move on.

I thought no further ahead than the white walls that surrounded me. I didn't look forward, I didn't hope. I became worse than the shell I was before-because there was nothing. There was no pain, there was no spark of life that cried out for him. I didn't try with the act, and slowly, people stopped visiting me. Even Renee, my own mother, became less frequent in her trips. I couldn't blame them. But, then again, I barely thought.

I was barely in existence.


	4. Chapter Three

I was back in Jacksonville. It was better here. I wasn't waiting for anyone, I remembered pretty much nothing. I'd managed to block everything out.

I'd been sent to a counsellor. I felt really terrible for Renee-she was having to fork out huge amounts for the sessions, and I don't really think I was getting anywhere. I barely talked to him. He thought I was depressed-but I didn't think I was. I just felt empty. Not like before. Not like there was a hole. I felt like there was nothing to make a hole _in_. There was nothing left of me. Everything I'd been through just caught up with me, and it had sapped my life.

Well. Maybe not my life. More like my soul. If, of course, I was willing to believe such a thing existed.

The counsellor worked tirelessly, and I could tell that he was honestly a good guy. He was really sweet, and seemed to truly care about me. He asked me all sorts of questions, and I barely registered them-I didn't even realise I was replying. I could have been lying. I could also have spilled out every truth I'd been keeping since I'd moved to Forks. But I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to sink away, into oblivion.

Apparently, I was so bad that I couldn't go to school anymore. That meant no college. My parents were distraught, both Charlie and Renee. They didn't seem to understand what had gone wrong. They knew that I had cut my hand, and somehow lost a large, large amount of blood, and that I therefore had to be rushed to hospital. Perhaps the doctors warned about something it could do to my brain. Or maybe they just thought that the experience was so traumatizing that I was affected in pretty much the same way I had when Edward left. Although, at the same time, it was completely different.

For the first while I was with my mother, she tried to squeeze the story out of me, trying to get me to confess to something, or at least open up a bit. Renee always was fantastic at sensing things-although she didn't need her special perception skills here. It was blatantly obvious that I was upset. My mother got the message good and strong after a while that I wasn't going to talk about it. She was visibly distressed-but I, new heartless creature that I was, simply could not find the will to care.

Phil tried to give me some lessons, but he was caught up with his job. Renee had never been particularly academic, but she did her best-before giving in to her frustration. It seemed that I refused to learn-or at least, couldn't. I'd become a shell-like a moving vegetable. It must have seemed that there was nothing inside me in the form of a mind or spirit. And that's what it felt like.

I was stripped-empty and deserted. Everything that was me no longer seemed to exist. If I'd had any sort of thoughts about my condition, I would have wished for the company of a friend, and to be right again. But I was in no state to be wishing.

I might as well have been dead.


	5. Chapter Four

**Sorry for not writing anything for...well, I've got no idea how long XD And it's short. Anyone want to guess what it is??**

**I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. I was thinking about today, but I like the suspense **

And so I continued my half-existence. If I had been capable of new thought, I would have quickly become bored at the loss of activity. Each day was practically the same-though I remembered none of it. I was a complete zombie-I suppose I could have been literally described as the living dead-I was, literally though not medically, brain dead.

I couldn't have imagined what it was doing to my mother.

I guess she now knew what it was like for Charlie, back when _he_ left me. In a way, I was almost repeating what I was like. Except this time-I didn't care so much. In fact, perhaps it was difficult for me to care at all. I might as well have been dead, for all I remembered, felt, or cared.

It was a bright autumn day in Jacksonville; and, as usual, I was inside sitting on my bed, staring at the drawn curtains. I took no notice of my mother, tip-toeing in towards the window. I didn't flinch or move as she drew the curtains. Then, pulling my suitcase to about a metre away from me, she began to unpack the last of my belongings. She took her time, and I ignored the shining tears that rolled smoothly down her red-raw cheeks.

Suddenly, in a fit of emotion, she flung the suitcase onto the floor, and sprinted out of the room. I remained impassive-but slowly turning my head as something glinting in the sunlight caught my eye. Breaking my normal behaviour due to my curiosity, I pushed myself up off the bed, bending down to examine whatever it was. I moved slowly, as though I was trying not to startle myself.

Whatever it was felt small and cold in my hand; I could tell that a fair part of it was metal. I slowly unclenched my fist, drawing it up to my face, the better to see it, and so that the light would make it clearer.

I double over with a somewhat exaggerated gasp as I realised what it was, and a torrent of emotions flooded me.


	6. Chapter Five

_The_ ring lay in my palm, reflecting the bright sunlight streaming through the window. It was as still as I now was, having recovered from my temporary shock. Thoughts upon thoughts suddenly started rushing through my mind, like a damned river breaking through its restraint. I tried to calm myself and slow my breathing-but it took some time and a lot of effort.

My hands started shaking, perhaps from the strain upon my arms from holding them up for too long. I relaxed my muscles, and, in doing so, let the ring slip from my palm. I winced as it chinked onto the floor, cringing away from it in a mixture of horror and pain.

Memories like that were best left alone.

I suddenly got a strange sense of claustrophobia, as though the walls were slowly closing in on me, trapping me, suffocating me. I realised that I needed to get away from the room that I had been solely occupying for so long. In a somewhat confused rush of activity, I flung open my door, sprinting out, and down, down, onto the street. I ran down the road, kept running and running through the city, trying to find an escape from the torture. It was a good while before I slowed, though how I managed to cover so far a distance being so unfit, I could not work.

I realised I could not run from my memories. And so, for the first time in so many months, I sat, in the middle of somewhere I had never been, and cried. I took no notice of the strangers walking past me, and the strange looks they gave me. I let myself become overwhelmed with grief, and did not try to fight it off. I thought of all the things I had had, and lost, all the things I had almost had and thrown away.

And then, all the things I had almost had, and now had lost the chance of ever having.

I had no knowledge of the time, and so did not know how long I cried for, how long I mourned the life I thought I knew so well-the life that had been torn from me. The tears ran down my face as I thought of all the people I had left behind, who I had, effectively lost. And, for all those I had hurt with my depression. I was surprised they hadn't wheeled me off to a hospital.

Once I had recovered from my outburst, I realised that I had to do something. My life was not stopping, and so it needed to be filled. What could I do?? I'd missed all the opportunities for college…and it was unlikely that I'd be able to re-apply. I could get a job, but without good qualifications, that would be difficult. And should I continue living with Renee and Phil? Or would that, perhaps, be a bit hard on both of them?

I needed to apologise, too. To so many people.

And I needed to get a social life. I didn't have any friends any more-at least, I assumed I didn't. I remembered with a sudden jolt all the guys at La Push. I would have been upset at the mention of that anyway-but it made it doubly worse now, knowing that I'd made the wrong decision…and could have been happy, if I'd simply chosen a different path.

All that time, Jacob had been right.


	7. Chapter Six

I adjusted the air conditioning above my head while trying not to touch the person next to me. I didn't have a problem-but they she was a stranger, and I don't think going around hitting strangers in the face is exactly a good thing to do.

I was on a plane to Forks-visiting Charlie. I wasn't moving, or anything. I was fairly happy in Jacksonville, in my own apartment, living my 'new' life. I had a few friends, a steady job, and a 'normal' life. No monsters, no incredibly strange events.

No happiness.

I shook my head, ridding these thoughts from my brain. I was…almost content. I was living a reasonable live, mediocre; nothing fantastically exciting, or interesting-but normal. I had, it seemed, had enough excitement and action for a lifetime. I had taken my risks-and wished I hadn't. But then, there was always a chance. Or it wouldn't be a risk.

Was this too much of a risk? Was I making another one of my famously terrible mistakes, screwing my newly built life up? Surely it would hurt me so much, and be not exactly pleasant for me or for Charlie; or, indeed, for anyone else who I met. It was going to be like a blast from the past-hitting me with the force of a hurricane and leaving me breathless.

Perhaps the masochist would come out in me and I would enjoy it; though that seemed highly doubtful.

My stomach was clenching painfully as the plane touched down-though I knew that none was from nerves; or at least, not of the plane crashing. I felt sicker by the minute, and had to somehow force the vision of the upcoming event out of my mind, through some secret door that I was struggling so hard to unlock.

The knot in my stomach only tightened as I stood in baggage reclaim and realised that I would be meeting Charlie in his car in just a few minutes. I thought I might physically throw up, and so kept a close eye on the nearest bathrooms. I didn't need humiliation on top of more awkwardness. Obviously the security guards and people around me thought I was either a lunatic or planning to set off a bomb in the restroom, and so kept a close eye on me-but the prospect of the coming events was horrific enough to draw my mind away from caring about them.

After a minor holdup with the luggage, I was wheeling my suitcase out into the car park. Grey clouds hung over Washington-but rather than sighing in despair, they somehow lifted my heart. Maybe it was just the change. Or maybe it was in recognition of something else…

I shook my head, clearing the thoughts from my mind. No dwelling on the past-I had locked the door behind me, and was stepping through a new. Or, at least, it was opening. Still; I was moving forward, onto new things, new experiences…new memories.

I shuddered before opening my eyes fully, scanning the parking lot for Charlie. I saw him standing rather tentatively next to the car, and felt a tug at the knot in my stomach. I felt sick all over again, with more force, and I tried a smile-I felt it came across as more of a grimace. Charlie's expression was hesitant, as though he wanted to say something, or do something, but was unsure if it was appropriate, or the reaction.

I walked over to the car, keeping my eyes on the body work, suddenly remembering the truck I had-the Chevy. My heart twisted a little as I remembered how I'd grown affectionate towards it…the radio…

I suddenly hit something hard, and jerked to my senses. I realised with a rush of embarrassment that I had walked into the car, and, as the blood flooded to my cheeks, that Charlie was standing next to me, looking somewhat wary, though concerned. I tried to smile to cover my humiliation, but it wouldn't come, and so I simply wheeled my case around to the boot, in the hope he would take the hint. He did, and walked hastily over, helping me to open the lid and load my belongings into the boot. I then climbed into the passenger seat, fully aware of the way he stood, somewhat at a loss, staring at me.

I hoped my face didn't give away just how much my feelings mirrored his.


	8. Chapter Seven

I took as long as was possible unpacking-but it still wasn't long enough. Due to the lack of belongings I possessed, my old room was sparsely furnished, and I couldn't bring myself to constantly rearrange everything. I stood in the middle of the room when I was finished, gazing around at the walls, a rush of nostalgia and anger flooding me. I knew that I was going to cry if I didn't pull myself together, but I couldn't do anything properly, and so I had to take deep, ragged breaths to prevent my emotions from spilling over. Charlie was worried about me enough already.

I switched on the computer on the desk, noting the dust on top of the monitor, and sighing. I guess my domestic skills were in need here-in the little time I had. Doing everything I could not to look over at the rocking chair, the bed, or the window, I fixed my eyes upon the screen as it slowly beeped and groaned its way into life. I waited for the internet to finally load, and then scanned my email. I remembered sitting in exactly the same space all that time ago, checking the many emails from my mother, replying in an effort to calm her worries about me. Now I thought I felt my heart sink a little bit as I saw the inbox flash up as empty, once again attempting to stem the tears welling up in my eyes, and wiping furiously at the few that escaped.

I thought about going out into town, before dismissing the idea as too optimistic and risky-the embarrassment would surely be immense. I then consolidated this dismissal as I remembered that I had no means of transport save walking, which I didn't have the energy for.

My thoughts were disturbed by a familiar and extraordinarily loud engine outside. I dismissed my conclusions before noticing, from the sound, that it had pulled up outside. Unable to contain myself, I jumped up from the seat and walked briskly over to the window, staring out at the street below. My heart thumped in my throat, and without thinking about it for even a second, I ran out of my room, down the stairs and through the front door, with Charlie staring at me with a mixture of confusion, fright and amusement on his face.

I stared out onto my old, worn down Chevy truck with a torrent of emotions coursing through me. I half wanted to run up to it, 'hug' it, drive it so so far away at the ridiculously low speeds it could only achieve.

And half of me wanted to run back in the house, somehow lock myself in the bedroom, and never set eyes on it again.

Of course, the situation was made a whole lot worse when the driver stepped out of the door. Just the sight of that russet skin and dark hair (though now cropped) was enough to once again send my tears ducts furiously working. I looked at the ground next to the wheels, avoiding eye contact, at least until I could see clearly. A million thoughts were running through my head at once. I heard Charlie approaching, and took deep breath. No one should be seeing me like this. They couldn't see me like this. I was fine.

I felt Charlie stop beside me, knowing his gaze was fixed upon my face, probably concerned. I resisted the urge to meet his gaze, and slowly looked up towards the person I knew would be standing there, probably ten feet taller than me-most likely with his hands in his pockets.

And there he was-Jacob Black, hands in pockets, looking down on me with a mixture of pity, concern, but also undeniable self-righteousness. I couldn't help but recognise him as the Jacob _I'd_ known, _my_ Jacob-not the twisted werewolf boy who strived for my attention, sniping at…

"Thanks for that, Jake. You still have a car, right?" Charlie's tentative, uneasy voice broke through my thoughts just in time.

"Yeah…yeah, I have" The calm joined with the pitying made me feel sick-but I craved his voice, wanting him to say more. I could feel, once more, Charlie's eyes on me. I wondered whether he was going to prompt my manners, like he did when I was about eight.

"Thanks…Jacob." I briefly looked up to meet his eye; but it turned out to be more than I could take. I swiftly turned around, heading back up to my bedroom. I heard Charlie's somewhat overly exaggerated sigh from behind me, before Jacob moved forward to converse with him.

I sat at my computer for about ten minutes before someone knocked on my door. My eyes and face were now dry, but the front of my shirt was still damp from the torrent of salty water that had been spilt. I had to get over it, and it was with reluctance that I slowly turned round.

"…Bella??"


	9. Chapter Eight

I glanced for less than a second into the eyes of Jacob Black before sliding them to the door next to him, just beside his face. I tried to ignore the fact that he had to stoop through the doorway-he was in little danger of actually hitting his head on the frame; but I guess being that close, you couldn't be too careful. I sighed, and I felt my expression droop somewhat. I saw the corners of his mouth turn down, his eyes still fixed intently upon my face. A part of me wanted him to turn back around, go out the door-or at least stop looking at me. And the other part wanted to stare at his face for the rest of the day; go up and hug him with all my strength, letting my tears flow freely.

I had no choice but to turn my eyes towards him as he slowly approached me. He sat a few feet away from me, still staring-but this time up, into my eyes; all I saw there confused me. I felt sick, though I wasn't entirely sure why-nerves? So long ago, I would have laughed at that; this boy was once my very best friend. Now, he seemed more of a stranger than when I first met him. Was this my fault or his?

I shook my head, ridding it of the stupid thoughts-what did I care about blame? Why was I trying to blame someone anyway? Things were how they were, and it was probably no one's fault. Things just happened; people drifted apart.

"How're you feeling?" He spoke slowly, hesitantly; his nerves seemed to be showing, and in another time I would have been laughing. _What's up with __**you**__?_ Now it seemed as amusing as a funeral. I sighed again, and realised that I was starting to sound like one of those sofas that was sat on far too much. And then I realised that I should think of better analogies.

I looked straight into his eyes, not saying a word; he nodded, as though in sympathy. A surge of anger and impatience flooded me-how could he know how I was feeling?

Then I remembered everything and I looked away, guilt overwhelming me, making me feel sicker than I could possibly imagine. He reached out to touch my arm, then seemed to think better of it, and withdrew. I wanted him to talk, even if it was just mindless babble. I needed something to drown out what I was thinking feeling. I needed someone to talk to, even about the most insignificant things.

"So, I was working down in the garage, and-"

"The garage?" I smiled inside, despite my confusion. I swear that boy could read my mind.

"Yeah. Oh, Charlie didn't tell you? I built a garage. You know that shed? Yeah, that's it. Took a while, I'll admit, and it's not exactly top of the market. But still…"

"Billie happy?" His face darkened, his eyes lowered to the ground. I felt like screaming with pain and guilt as I realised. "I am so, so, so sorry Jacob." He nodded slowly, carefully. I climbed off my chair, down to the floor, and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back, gentle despite his strength, and I didn't even realised that this was the first proper hug I'd had since I could remember. I realised that tears were, once again, rolling down my face-and judging by the moisture on my shoulder, Jacob was getting a bit over-emotional too.

After a few minutes of just sitting there like that, I laughed quietly, and pulled away, wiping first my eyes and then his. He smiled up at me, and continued;

"But yeah, so I was in the garage…"


	10. Chapter Nine

I spent the rest of that day talking to Jacob. Well, not so much talking as listening. It was a conversation of sorts, though I contributed so little I seemed hardly involved. I loved listening to him talk-and I quickly realised just how pathetic my 'life' was; in my attempt to escape my memories, I'd become stuck in a hazy grey limbo of relative nothingness.

If Jacob noticed my silence, he didn't give it away. He ploughed on with his many interesting and often amusing stories. I laughed for the first time in my recent memory, and I felt healthy, well. My nerves evaporated, and I felt good. Not exactly happy; content, in a way.

I did, however, notice that he seemed to avoid a certain subject. I didn't know what it was, but he would hesitate for a second or less before continuing-as though sidestepping something uncomfortable. I didn't really care what it was; I was just relieved that I was back, talking to him like I used to. Or, at least, listening. If I really needed to talk, that would come later. That conversation was about ignoring the bad things.

Moving on.

Charlie obviously noticed the change, though he had spent little time with me in my previous temperament. He had clearly been well informed by Renee. I overheard him talking to her, somewhat frantically and nervously about me, though I didn't actually listen to what was being said.

My mood was lifted for the next few days, and, just as I was starting downhill again, Jacob invited me over for dinner. I hadn't been to La Push since I'd left Forks, and was wondering how the rest of the pack was getting on. I hoped Sam was still coping, still strong as he was.

I had no idea of what to wear, as I had completely given up on my image recently. I ended up picking the first combination of clothes that came out of my wardrobe, hardly glancing at the as I threw them on. Charlie already knew where I was going, though he seemed quite concerned and a little wary; strange considering his attitude to mine and Jacob's friendship before.

As I drove over to the reservation, I remembered the motorcycles, and wondered where they were. Had I sold mine? Had I given it to Jacob? I could not recall what its fate had been, and as I began to remember the reason I had taken them in the first place, I abruptly pushed the thoughts from my mind.

By the time I reached the house that I recognised so well, I was desperately trying to recall the lyrics, artist of and title to a song of which I seemed to know only the tune. Before I'd even stepped out of the truck, Jacob was at the front door, grinning from ear to ear-an expression which I returned; though perhaps not quite so enthusiastically or wholeheartedly.

"Bella!" Just his happy, sunshine-voice made me want to laugh until my stomach hurt. My smile widened, and I almost bounded up the steps, summoning energy which I had never really known existed within me.

He just laughed, and turned around, walking back inside the house. I continued to smile as I pulled the door shut behind me, half-skipping as I followed him. I felt so strange-I hadn't even come close to skipping since I was about eight. Now, suddenly, I just felt like I had to. Jacob raised an eyebrow, still smiling, and shook his head. I laughed at the gesture, the imitation of a mature adult amused at the antics of a younger child. He laughed too, joining me in a harmony of beauty, happiness.

"Can I see the garage?" I asked, tilting my head to one side, eager to see just what he had been doing in my absence. To my surprise, he looked a little uneasy when I asked, but then nodded.

"We'll eat first, though, yeah?" And suddenly he started up another conversation, about something totally random but interesting-and once again, I just followed along, swept up in the stream of ignorance, just listening and lost in his words.


	11. Chapter Ten

The house seemed smaller without Billie talking, laughing, rumbling around on his wheelchair. I could tell that Jake really missed him; but he'd done a good deal of getting on by himself. Due to the whole werewolf thing and not aging, the age gap between us was bigger than before; but because he just kept growing, he could have passed for at least five years older than me.

As we walked over to the garage, I noticed how he had to deliberately slow down, shorten his strides to match mine. I felt somewhat indignant, but also rather frustrated with myself because I had to slow him down so much. When I tried to walk a little faster, he just laughed at me, so I slowed down again, somewhat embarrassed for having to make the effort. I ended up laughing at myself with him, giving up on trying to match him, accepting that without turning into a…

Despite the fact it was right next to the house, I hadn't seen the garage yet. So, when I finally focused on it, I let out a little gasp of surprise. It was pretty much the same size (perhaps a little bigger); but completely renovated. It was made out of wood, still, but sturdier somehow, and there was all manner of equipment inside and out. There were signs all over the place, and one car outside, one inside. I just gaped for a while, amazed at the difference. I could feel Jake watching me, presumably wondering what to say or do, but I didn't react to that.

He seemed to give up waiting for a more obvious reaction, and continued to walk towards the garage, and, after shaking my head, I followed him. As I stepped through the wide open doors, I gazed around me, taking in all that was on the walls and on the floor; and not having a clue what any of it was. I saw a large sign on the top of the back wall, black with large white lettering;

'**Black Swan**'

My features distorted with confused. I looked at Jacob, who, after waiting for my reaction, looked down at the floor, avoiding my gaze.

"I didn't think you were going to make it," His voice came out as a low croak, and I thought I saw glistening trails down his cheeks. All the more confused, I waited for him to continue; "I couldn't cope. I started building it when you were still in hospital; I needed a distraction, something to focus on. So I started this," he gestured to the walls around him, his eyes meeting mine, "and it worked. Sort of. Then, a little while after you moved away-Billie died. It tore Charlie apart; Billie and Harry in such a short space of time, with you gone too. He came over here more often; saw what I was doing, and helped out."

"So it's yours and Charlie's?"

He shook his head slowly.

"It's my business. The second part of the name is for two people." He tried to smile, but it didn't work so well, so he turned away. I didn't miss the way his hands moved across his face.

I felt so awful; I'd never seen Jacob this torn up, not even when I was leaving him, before. He turned back round to face me, and I saw him pulling a can of soda from a plastic bag. I smiled (somewhat half-heartedly) and took it from him. He managed a little tilt in the corners of his mouth in reply-but it wasn't enough. What had happened to Jacob-my Jacob, the boy who'd been so happy, so full of life; they boy who'd (cliché though it sounds) lifted me up when I was down?

He took the other can from the bag, chucking the plastic on the floor. I watched the white crackling material float slowly down to the floor, to settle rather noisily on the oily, muddy ground. I noticed that Jake had sat down on a step near the car-I remembered how we used to sit in or by the Rabbit he used to build…

"Hey, that was the Rabbit outside, right?" His face lit up properly this time, and it made my heart lurch just a little bit. Well, more than just a little bit…

"I wondered when you would finally notice. After all that time we spent working on it…well, you watching me anyway," He chuckled, nudging me playfully. I grinned back, wanting to continue the high spirit discussion, desperately searching my mind for something to discuss.

"I still have those motorbikes, as well, you know. Still running fairly well. We ride them sometimes, around the reservation…" His eyes widened, and he glanced down at me with something akin to fear in his eyes. I simply held his gaze, acting ignorant of whatever that slip of the tongue was about. I didn't want to ruin this today; it was obviously something he didn't really want to discuss.

"So, they're still going strong then?" He visibly relaxed as it became obvious that I was not going to comment on whatever it was he almost said. He nodded, tipping his can vertically to get the last drops of soda that remained. I looked down at my can and smiled, placing it on the ground and looking outside.



I was back.


	12. Chapter Eleven

I was at a loss most of the time during the day; it wasn't like I'd moved to Forks permanently, so I didn't have a job or anything. This was supposed to be sort of like a vacation (I know, classy, right?). So, I ended up spending most of my time writing. I tried reading, but it seemed like the world was devoid of new books; or bookstores, at least. Not that I searched particularly hard.

I wrote stories, mainly; scenarios involving whatever happened to be inside my head at the time. I found that I really liked to write, and wondered why I had never pursued it before. I guess it had seemed like I was already in a story.

There were, of course, the awkward times in which I was stuck with writers block; as though the muscles in my hand had seized up-or perhaps the creative muscles in my brain. And it wasn't like it happened not-very-often; it was a regular occurrence, one which annoyed me hugely.

Obviously, I spent a good deal of time with Jacob too. He'd finished school by now, and so was working pretty much full time in his garage; but he seemed to do something else as well, because all too often I found that he was unavailable, or simply not in his house. I wondered at this, but he always called to apologise, despite not having or giving a reason. I didn't worry too much about those times; we weren't as close as we used to be, and due to our drifting apart, there was probably loads of stuff he didn't share with me. I understood that, and didn't mind, although I often wondered just what it was he was hiding.

It was one of the days when I was totally, bored at a dead end of ideas or things to do, so I decided to drive over to the reservation, to see if Jacob was in. As always, I was a little wary, in case I saw any of the other members of the pack. I wasn't yet sure how they'd react to me when I saw them-and I wasn't in any rush to find out.

As I was driving, I thought about bringing the truck to Jake's garage to get it checked out. After all, it was so old that it was hardly going to be in fantastic condition. Of course, it was about that point at which I realised that it had been Jacob who had brought it over, and so he must have had it before. It also, therefore, stood to reason that he would have serviced it himself. And by this time, I was pulling up to the house.

It didn't seem like anyone was in, but I still walked up to the door and knocked a few times. My assumptions proved correct, I turned around to the truck; but upon hearing voices, turned again to walk towards the garage. I was surprised that Jake (I could hear his voice) hadn't acknowledged the engine of the truck, and come to see me-but although I could not hear exactly what was being said, it seemed like a somewhat heated or passionate discussion; perhaps drawing the participants' attention away from outside noise.

The wide doors were open, but just concealing whoever was inside. I tuned out the words which were being said due to disinterest, and though it did not rest on my conscience well-as I did not know who was talking or what was happening-I continued to approach the garage. The voices were now softer, the volume decreasing, and had I been attempting to listen, it would have been unlikely I would have been able to hear properly.

A girl with shockingly blond hair was facing away from me, her head tilted up. Her pale green strappy top and white three-quarter lengths raised my eyebrows (this was Forks, after all), but they didn't shock me as much as what I was next.

Jacob, leaning over her, bent down, embracing her thin frame, kissed her. A vivid image suddenly filled my mind-I was surrounded by trees, and Jacob was towering over me, his head bent down to mine, lips covering my own.

I felt nauseous.

As quietly as I possibly could, I walked back to my truck, started my engine, and drove away as quickly as the whining engine would allow.


	13. Chapter Twelve

I started to understand some things a little better.

But overall, I was completely confused. I had (somewhat vainly and clearly ignorantly) accepted that Jacob's love for me was totally, eternal, and completely irrevocable; he'd said almost as much, if not in so many words. But I realised just how naïve I had been.

I cried, of course. My love for him, at least, remained-though it had been buried deep and was no only starting to resurface. I began to appreciate beyond what I could have before, of how Jacob had felt all that time ago. It was…interesting how those things turned around. It wasn't _that_ long ago, after all, that I would have imagined this position simply absurd; almost an impossibility.

Who could have predicted it would have turned out like this?

He rang. Quite a lot; couldn't seem to understand why I wasn't replying. Strangely enough, Charlie didn't seem bothered about it-that is, he didn't seem surprised when I didn't call back. I guess he knew about the blond. Maybe that's why he was so wary, at first…

I listened to the messages he left; it seemed I had become a twisted sort of masochist, determined to be as filled with pain as was possible. Every time I heard his voice, another shred of me tore away to join him. The little of me that was left was desperately clinging on. But the problem was that everything was slipping away.

About a week after I stopped talking to Jacob, he came over to the house. Charlie tried to tell him to go away, but Jake simply looked confused, and demanded to see me. After a while, Charlie just let him come inside-but with a frosty glare and tone. Looking slightly guilty now, I saw Jacob walk inside, and shortly afterwards, walk up the stairs. It continued to amaze me how someone so large could step so softly.

"…Bella?" He whispered through a crack in my door. I rolled my eyes; did he think I was dead or something? I was just…well; hurt, I guess. I was silent, and he took it as an invitation to come in. I didn't meet his eyes, simply remained gazing at the wall in front of me.

He stood in front of me, and then squatted, his eyes looking up into mine. I was forced to look back down, into his dark irises; but I remained blank, not giving away anything that was inside my head. He looked hurt, and confused; I began to get frustrated, wanting him to hurry up and realise that he was wasting his time.

"What did I do? _Was_ it something I did? What's wrong?" He looked up with concern, and I breathed out in a sigh, before properly looking into his eyes. He seemed a little relieved as he saw life flicker into my eyes, but still concerned and pained. Tilting his head to one side, he reached out a hand to stroke my arm, but as I recoiled he drew it back.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jake?" I wondered if him telling me beforehand would have made it easier, if I would have been able to accept it. Really what I was doing now was childish, considering; the fact that it was kept a secret was my only possible excuse. I thought I saw a little dash of fear in his eyes before his brows pulled together in confusion.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about…" I sighed, a humourless smile playing about my lips.

"You know who I'm talking about." As soon as I'd confirmed it to be a person, I knew that he was shocked. He tried to cover it up, but to no avail; I saw what he was thinking. After a few minutes of struggling, he seemed to give up. The pain in his eyes was now more pronounced, and it hurt me, though I hardly noticed it in the haze of my mind.

"Did Charlie tell you?" His beautiful voice was quiet now, and I wasn't sure whether he could see my head shaking as he looked at the floor by my feet.

"I saw you. With her. In the garage…I just wanted to see if you were in…" I trailed off, waiting for him to reply. When I looked down at his face again, he looked all the more confused.

"I-We've never been to the garage. She's never been to the garage…" I rolled my eyes. Why was he attempting to make pathetic excuses now? It was ridiculous, he'd already admitted all of it.

"I saw you, a week ago. You were k-with a girl, long blond hair, green strappy top, white trousers…" Recognition lit up in his eyes, and he laughed. Anger was building inside me, like a storm before it crashes. How dare he laugh? I might have been childish about this, but it hurt nonetheless.

"There's nothing going on with her. She's an…old friend. She was just visiting." I narrowed my eyes, and he just grinned, "I know, I know. It probably seemed a little…intimate. But that's how she is. A little unhinged, maybe. But 

it's all in good fun" His grin was even wider now. Suspicious, I stared right into his eyes; but I couldn't see him lying at all. Admittedly, being such a bad liar myself, it was often difficult to tell when others weren't telling the truth…but I could see nothing but sincerity (and a little humour) in his eyes.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and managed a tentative little smile. But it wavered as confusion swept me.

"So…who's the other girl?" He looked suddenly guilty, and I wondered just how bad it was. What was going on?

"Bella…I know what I said. What I said before…before. But it was more common than we thought. Much, much more common," He must have seen the confusion on my face, because he got straight to the point.

"Bella…I've imprinted."


	14. Chapter Thirteen

I sat there, rather calm, for a while, attempting to absorb the information with which I had just been presented. I guess I should have expected it, to some extent. After all, about half the pack had imprinted when I'd left, and Jake had told me that they had realised that it was more common than the legends had said.

"All the pack has now." He spoke quietly, but due to the silence surrounding us, I could hear him perfectly. I nodded feebly, only half-conscious of my actions. This was just…wow. It was totally unexpected on my part. I mean, after all he'd said…

"How long ago?" I asked the question only to give myself more time to think and reflect upon his words. Perhaps all hope for me was lost; and had been since I'd made that choice to move here…perhaps even from the time I'd been born.

He screwed up his face in an attempt to recall some memory. I continued to avoid eye contact, and started fiddling with something that lay next to my foot.

"I can't really remember. All my memories of around that time are blurred. I think it might have been a few months after you left. Yeah-that seems about right. About the time I started going out of the house; talking to people again. I was with most of the pack, and we were just wandering around; one of them said we should go visit someone. A girl. So, we went. She couldn't move, couldn't get out of bed, just lying there. And when I saw her, I immediately recognised how I felt-I recognised, from the others' memories, exactly what was going on. They saw it in my face, and so they left after a few minutes. If I hadn't believed in…the supernatural before that time, I wouldn't have questioned it then." He gave a small, watery smile, and then turned his head away. I stared at his face, wondering.

"Why-" I cleared my throat, "Why couldn't she…move?" I regretted the question immediately as I saw a tear running down his face, slowly dropping onto the floor. I felt like crying myself, though I was not entirely sure why. I guess it was the pain from seeing his pain, like before.

"There was…an accident. A few years ago. Something to do with a shooting; no one ever really knew what had happened. A bullet lodged in her spine…she lost the use of her legs, and part of the use of her arms. The doctors still aren't sure to what extent the damage is. She can breathe by herself, and she can talk. But she needs a wheelchair to move around, and she can't really do anything else," A sob broke through his restraint, "She's not that badly affected, considering. It could have been much worse, and her organs still function properly, so she's effectively 'healthy'. Aside from being a paraplegic, that is."

I sat perfectly still, shocked, and feeling sick. I couldn't believe the atrocity of it-Jacob had finally imprinted after so much unhappiness…and then _this_. I felt nauseous, that this was how luck turned out. I wondered if Jacob was actually happy-or whether he hated the way things had turned out. Did he spend his days happy for the good he had found or miserable for the bad?

I didn't think that any words I could say would be enough, and so I placed my arm around his shoulders, and pulled him close, for once knowing that the tears were not my own-but the pain was shared regardless.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Jacob gently pushed the door open in front of me, scanning my face for uncertainty. I swallowed, but met his eyes and nodded, stepping slowly forward, following him as he entered the bright, open room, natural light filling it from the bay window at the far end. Just below the open glass, a bundle of blankets and assorted items lay, and I made out a chest, rising and falling. I traced the vague form of a body up to a shockingly pale face. A face that reminded me of something else…

Jacob approached the girl slowly, hesitantly. She turned her head, so slowly, and finally met his eyes. A smile slowly spread across her face, but it lit up her eyes first. She began to almost glow, and I recognised the emotions in the room, the way they gazed at each other, the way he centered his movements around her. I was touched, and I forgot all about the relationship Jacob and I once had. It was cast down, made null by this-just watching this was enough to make me realised that, had I chosen to fight it, I was against an immeasurable power of emotions that would crush me beyond what I had been before.

I hadn't been sure what would happen when I came here-Jacob had asked, and I saw something in his eyes that forced me to accept. A part of me wanted to see her, to see how Jacob reacted to her, the type of person he was around her. The other part of me was intensely afraid, of what my reaction might be, especially considering her disability. But, as he stretched out a hand to run it through her chestnut-brown, wavy hair, I was satisfied in myself. Where I had expected insane jealousy and outrage, I found calm; content. It was no matter that I was left out of this harmonious equation. I was happy to merely witness it, happy to feel the sort of…fuzzy glow (soppy but true) that had developed in my stomach from seeing Jacob with someone who was truly and totally compatible with him.

Not his soulmate. Something far, far stronger.

I spent the rest of the day in that room, watching the sun sink lower in the sky. Jacob introduced me with a huge and grin, and Cailyn (I loved the way Jacob said her name-like it was something delicate, precious) smiled at me in return, nodding in place of a hug or handshake. I smiled hesitantly, unsure how to act around such a person, for several reasons. But soon, I found it completely natural, and easy. Jacob pulled up two chairs for us to sit at; his at her head, mine next to his, further out from the window, but giving me a superb view of the well cultivated front garden below.

They chattered and laughed for a long time, and everything was very relaxed and easy. I felt no more out of place than I would do anywhere else, and I was hugely relieved at this. I contributed little to the conversation, listened mostly, laughing along the way; somehow, though, I still felt as if I was a participant. I felt included, despite the fact I was clearly an outsider on whatever it was. I enjoyed their company, and Jacob remembered that I was there most of the time, pausing to ask my opinion, or simply include me in something. I wouldn't have minded if he had ignored me the entire time, focusing all of his attention and energy upon her. It was such a change in me that I couldn't really be surprised. I guess it hadn't really registered just how much my view was changing, how my mind and thoughts had altered.

Al I knew was that I was happier than before. Because if I had chased Jacob, if I had struck up, again, the relationship we had had, it would have brought back such terrible memories that I would never be able to heal. We would not work, and we would either live in our memory, or break each other. And to see him happy, here at least, meant everything to me. I understood that I couldn't give that to him, and that in a way, I didn't really want to. I loved being friends with Jacob, even if it was made a little harder by past revelations.

The only time during that day when I was tense, after having met Cailyn, was when Jacob was driving me home. It was, for some reason, uncomfortable, though I was not entirely sure why. Admittedly, I hadn't been actively trying to start a conversation, but I was happy to sit there and relax. Jacob seemed anxious, as though there was something he needed to voice, but could not quite put into words. Every so often, he would open his mouth, before closing it, and I could see the mental struggle clearly etched on his face. I was about to tell him to spit it out, before he spoke.

"Are you okay?" His voice was laced with anxiety, soft and concerned. I was startled, and my surprise and confusion must have shown on my face, as his soon mirrored mine.

"Why would I have a reason for... not being okay?" I wasn't being accusatory-I was truly and honestly confused. Was I behaving weirdly during the day? My face was suddenly flushed with colour. Had I been rude, or distant, or judgemental? Had I subconsciously been cold and condescending, somehow?

"You were being a bit…strange," Oh, God, "Although I guess I could hardly blame you. It's…well, a lot to take in. Given…" He trailed off, before continuing, "I mean, given the history and everything. You didn't seem that weird, you just didn't say much," I relaxed a little.

"Well, I could hardly get a word in, could I?" But I smiled, and Jacob looked rather sheepish, apologetic. "But it doesn't matter. I liked listening to you two talk. I'm so, so happy for you Jake. You can't know how happy." He 

searched my face anxiously, studying every line for some sign that I was lying, trying to cover up some true feelings that would surely be negative, hurt. But finding none, he relaxed, smiling.

"Thanks, Bella. Thank you so much."


	16. Chapter Fifteen

It felt like everything was sorted. Finished. Wrapped up.

But it wasn't.

Jacob may have found what he wanted, but I sure hadn't. Though I wasn't jealous of Cailyn for having Jacob, I was jealous of their relationship. I envied them and their happiness, the way they were. I longed for it, the closeness. I'd had it, perhaps just once…

He realised my unhappiness. I guess it couldn't have been very well hidden; I wasn't making an effort. I was beginning to get sick of feeling upset all the time. If it wasn't one thing, it was another, as though I was crossing things of a list that just kept growing.

We were down at the beach, huddled together, his arm around my shoulders. Though I still loved him like I did before, and I think he felt the same way, we sat there as friends, comforting each other. He sighed, and I looked up at his face. He was staring out, into the sea-but his eyes were glazed, and he was obviously looking at something else, something from another time.

"We were so close, weren't we?" I was startled by his tone, his words, and the sudden break of the silence. I met his eyes, confused.

"Without the…monsters. Without them, we'd have been fine. If there wasn't all this other stuff, we'd have been normal, got along fine," Worry shot through me. Was everything with Cailyn a lie? Did he resent the connection between them? Surely he couldn't. "I mean, I have Cailyn. But you don't have anyone. Always one of us, eh? Always one on their own, without anyone, just looking up from where they are, angry and envious,"

"I'm not-"

"Not angry, I know, I know. I can see that you're happy for me. But you're not happy for you, are you? You're miserable. Something's missing, and you know it, you feel it." I didn't give thought to how Jacob knew me so well that he was listing the exact points of what I had been feeling. I just stared at the waves as they grew larger, and then crashed as they neared us. We were sitting fairly close, and so I was often sprayed, though only slightly. I sighed, mimicking his earlier release of breath, laying my head on his shoulder. It was quite cold, especially here, at the coast, where the wind blew my hair into my face repeatedly, but his incredible heat kept me warm.

The pack had been inactive ever since th-I'd left. It seemed that nothing else had bothered them, and so they didn't need to morph into wolves. They had started aging again-although they hadn't had much time to catch up. All of them, it seemed, were happy in their respective couplings, although some were still acting the 'big brother'. I'd stop being weirded out by that, too.

I stretched my limbs as I stood up, and walked slowly over to the truck. Jacob walked over to the drivers side, a sneaky look in his eye, but I just rolled mine, and pushed him gently out of the way. Laughing, he walked over to the passenger side, and I climbed in slowly. The truck was so old now, that I had to be really careful. Though it wasn't like I was going to need it long term.

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I pulled up to drop Jake off. I looked around, suddenly wary, and realised what I might have reacted to.

Sam, Paul and Embry were standing at the side of the road, tense and alert. Sam's emotions were hidden past his face, Paul looked angry, and Embry looked somewhat nonchalant; though it seemed to me he was more scared than he let on.

"Jake-" I turned around, about to ask him what was going on, but he was already out of the car, shouting a goodbye. My eyes narrowed in suspicion, but I decided to leave be, and drove away, staring at their backs, aware that they were static in an attempt to hide whatever it was they were about to discuss from me.

I didn't have to wait too long for news. An hour or so after it had started getting dark, a car I recognised pulled up outside the house. I was at the door before Charlie realised someone was outside. Jacob's posture was calm, relaxed, but I didn't miss how his eyes scanned everything around him, jumping suddenly from one place to the next. I stamped on the thoughts rising in my mind, overflowing, hand in hand with terror. He headed straight for the stairs, pausing only to greet Charlie. I followed him, anxiety growing in my stomach.

"They're back." The door was closed behind me, but still I stifled the cry that rose in my throat. I didn't have a doubt who he meant.

"Well, not _them_. Another lot," My features distorted in confusion, I stared up at him, wondering what he was on about.

"Sam was out today, while we were at the beach. He morphed, suddenly, without warning, and immediately picked up a scent. Kind of faint, but still. He knew what it was. He followed it for a while, but lost it. The others are out there now, searching." He took a deep breath.

"It's those other ones. The ones that were there when the newborns attacked, that cleaned everything up."

I felt like my knees were about to give way, images, scenes, overflowing in my head, flooding my brain.

The Volturi were back. For me.

If only there were no monsters.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

I felt the mattress give beneath me as I sank down onto it, trying to breath. I could sense Jacob's anxiety, and felt him patting my arm, distractedly. He was staring out of the window, as if looking for some sign of something, but I ignored his wandering eyes.

Vampires were back in Forks. They were looking for me, and had promised to kill me…if I wasn't like them. They would arrive, and see that the…situation had changed. Charlie would be in danger. Everyone I knew would be in danger; the whole town. Sure, the Volturi wouldn't want to be exposed, but that didn't lessen the risk. That much.

They would find me human. They would kill me, because I knew their secrets. They'd probably taunt me with my past-Jane didn't need access to my head to cause me unbelievable pain. Although she might not even realise it until she saw my reaction.

As I rethought Jacob's words, something suddenly hit me.

"You're…looking for them? Tracking them?" Jacob looked distracted as his eyes met mine; he rolled his eyes, and turned away. I felt a little flame of anger flare up inside me. I didn't care what he said this time. They were _not_ going to put their lives on the line for me this time. I knew that they'd be killed-all of them. This wasn't a pack of untrained, newborn vampires. This was the Volturi-ruthless, powerful, and mortal enemies of werewolves, like all vampires. They wanted me, that was all. Nobody else needed to be involved. Of course, if they realised that the pack was running around, they'd dispose of them, too. So I needed to stop them, before it was too late…

"You can't." I said shortly. I knew what his reaction would be before it came.

"We will." I knew the discussion was over, and that he wouldn't listen to any reasoning. I knew that even if I tried to explain to him what he was dealing with, he'd brush me off, not listening.

"Look. You'll be protected. It'll be fine. We know what we're dealing with," _No you don't_ "and it's all going to be fine. We're not stupid. We're supposed to protect the town and all that. We're not letting anyone get hurt." He didn't even ask why they'd come. He obviously knew it was something to do with me, and that seemed enough for him. He didn't appear to need any further explanation, and without another word, he left, leaving me staring at a blank space on the wall.

I had to do something, quick. This wasn't going to be like last time. I wasn't going to stand around, wasting precious time, arguing with people whose resolve would not waver. I had to take action, by myself.

The only thing I could do to help everyone was to give myself up.

I almost smiled at the thought. It really was that simple. After all, I had nothing to live for, did I? I had a worthless job, essentially no friends, except Jacob-and he was happy. Charlie and Renee couldn't miss me that much, as I had hardly been living life to the full before. Maybe they would think that I had run away somewhere. I wouldn't leave a note-it would probably just hurt them more. Hopefully Jacob would help them along.

It really was that easy. I wouldn't be missed. All I had to do was wander out into the woods, and they'd find me. They'd get rid of me-then leave. I'd tell them all they needed to know before, so they wouldn't check out the area afterwards. They didn't need to know about the pack. Everything would be over before anyone was hurt. There would be no casualties this time, no anxious waiting filled with a terrible dread. No face off with me sitting useless in a corner, consumed with fear.

This time I would have a purpose. This time there wouldn't _be_ a 'this time', because there would no fight. There would be no interaction between the two groups, and everyone could just get back to living how they did before. Perfectly fine. Perfectly normal. I had only been an interruption, after all. A brief stutter in the harmony. I used to think I had something to live for…I guess I did then. But because of that time, it seemed that my life was afterwards empty.

After all-when your world and beliefs collapse, do they become something else…

Or just disappear?


	18. Chapter Seventeen

I was surprised when I realised, after killing the engine, that I did not have to control or regulate my breathing-it was normal. I was somewhat proud of myself, even here, at the end. After all, I was used to finding myself hysterical. Here at what seemed to me to be that last act, I was calm, accepting. Almost willing.

Of course, knowing the price helped. I knew that I _had_ to do this, that people's lives were in danger if I did not sacrifice myself. I was also, finally, willing to look back, and realise that my life now was pale, and almost dead. To kill it completely would hardly make a difference. After all, I'd grown so distant from people, that severing the last tie should make it almost no harder for them.

At least, I hoped so.

I froze, the door to the truck half closed, as I heard voices and the crackling of the undergrowth. My heart began to beat harder then, and the breathlessness I had waited for overcame me. That was, until I actually listened to the voices, and realised they were too loud, too happy and jovial to be the people I was going to meet-and the ones who I'd thought were about to ruin my final plan.

My previous shock was nothing, however, compared to the shock when I registered the faces of the people stumbling out of the woods. Clearly they were equally shocked, as their eyes widened as their limbs became, apparently, paralyzed.

Angela Weber and Ben Cheney stood in front of me, silent and apparently lost for words.

I was in a similar state of shock-all thoughts of what I was about to do suddenly evaporated from my mind. I wasn't entirely sure what I was thinking-only that it was far along the lines of surprise; and suspicion.

"Oh my god…Bella," Angela's voice was amazed, and somewhat breathy. I guess they'd been hiking for a while. I nodded, as though she was questioning my identity. She hesitated after taking a step towards me.

"They didn't say you were back…"

"Just for a-holiday." I noticed that my voice was flat-void of emotion. Clearly my subconscious too had yet to work out just what to do. She nodded, stepping back and looking at Ben.

"Well. It was…nice to see you. We'll just be leaving." I looked around, and saw their car parked a little distance from mine. I didn't bother to wonder why I didn't see it before. My mind was one-track then.

I nodded, looking at the ground as they turned, slowly, and walked away. Perhaps I should have done something…said something.

Instead, I kept walking into the woods, thinking that perhaps it was better this way. Maybe _they_ would have missed me. And that would have ruined it.

I wasn't in a rush to reach my destination-but I wasn't buying time either. I walked at a normal pace, determined not to think about everything I would be leaving behind.

Then again-who'd say I'd remember anything? I didn't even know what happened when people died. Did we go to heaven, another plane or what? I guessed I'd find out. I hoped, that if we weren't given an afterlife in which we could create what we wanted, I would be given peace, and unawareness.

I started to look back; something I'd practically promised I'd never do. I didn't go back far-just far enough to see his face. I felt him, cold, hard, against my body; the way his lips felt, moving against mine, melting my bones, until he had to physically support me. His crooked smile; his bronze hair, messed but beautiful. Every contour of his face, so close to mine, his cool breath tickling my neck.

And slowly, he transformed into Alice. Alice, more graceful than a dancer, smiling, cheerful-pleading, begging me to let her make me over. I felt my resolve waver, and finally give in. I saw everything that I loved about her. I followed her through, picturing each of the Cullens in turn. Save one.

It wasn't painful; I wasn't really remembering them-they seemed to be there, as much as the other vampires were. I could almost hear their voices. Clearing my mind, I looked around me-and it seemed as though I _had_ been changed; all my senses were sharpened. Perhaps it was an appreciation, finally, for the world.

Just as I was about to leave it.

I really did marvel at the way the leaves seemed to reflect the sunlight, were outlined in gold as it filtered through the trees. I relished the snap of twigs and crackle of dead foliage beneath my feet. There were no animals-but I 

conjured them in my mind, flitting through the trees, rustling the bushes as they ran through them. I saw the small stones that had been moved by animals as they went on their way, and I thought about how they felt-how they got about their lives. Did they think like us, or were their minds completely different?

I suddenly wished that I had known more. But what use would it have been to me? How would it help me, how would it help anyone to know more, when all we ever did was die?

They were back in my head, the cold, white, beautiful creatures that I had banished from my mind. They walked with me to the edge of the trees, and I could feel them moving with me as I stepped onto the grass. I looked around, at the perfect circle, remembering truly for the first time in so long. It hurt, but it was so worth it, for everything else it made me feel.

I walked to what I judged to be the centre of the meadow, and slowly sat down, crossing my legs. A shiver ran down my spine, and my eyes fluttered as, about to close, they caught the distinct shadow of something flitting between the trees.

Something human shaped.

My eyes closed, and I relaxed, noticing happily that my heartbeat was completely regular. It was bad enough to die-I'd like to die without too much embarrassment. Not that it made much difference.

I was aware of something approaching me slowly-but it felt singular. Surely the Volturi would not send just one representative? Too dangerous, surely? But then, maybe they were hiding somewhere else in the woods. Or they had realised the Cullens had left, and were chasing the werewolves. Something like that.

I felt the thing (vampire-I knew it was a vampire) draw even closer, until it was just a metre or two away. I thought that perhaps I should be feeling something akin to disgust-but I was indifferent. Good. Indifference was good. Keeping cool.

I heard the vampire take a breath, and release it. But not slowly. In a quick, kind of agitated way-and as though they would rather be somewhere completely different-anywhere else but standing in front of me.

"Bella. Please-open your eyes. And _run_."


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**I must admit, I found this chapter a little difficult to write-but I hope it turned out okay. Please let me know what you think (even if it's totally negative XD)**

**I'm going to California on Friday, so updates are probably going to slow quite a bit. But I'll try and find an internet cafe or something to update. I'm really into this story now **

* * *

Instead of opening, like they were told, my eyes remained shut, squeezing shut in case of a sudden weakness. I heard him (I recognised that voice all too well) give a sigh of exasperation, and walk closer. Slowly, my eyelids lifted, and I looked up into his face. It was totally blank-though it looked like he was doing it deliberately, carefully hiding whatever it was he was feeling.

"Please." He didn't really betray anything in that word, either. But I looked into his eyes, and something changed. I didn't move for a few seconds, and I saw frustration growing within him. Then, I slowly rose to my feet. I knew that he'd drag me out if I didn't move. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but I knew that would be a bad thing. A very, very bad thing.

"Edward, wha-" A pained expression fixed upon his face, he began walking towards the trees, obviously planning to not reply to my unfinished question. But he'd only taken a few perfect, graceful steps when he froze. The pained expression turned to one of horror, and a low hiss escaped his perfect, icy lips. I had no idea what he had seen or heard-but after a few seconds it hit me. He could read minds, and his vampire senses were far more accurate than mine. I guessed it wouldn't be too long before they were here.

The Volturi were coming for me.

And, of course, my calm of before was completely shattered. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, anger flared inside me, and I rounded on Edward.

"Why the hell are you here?" He rolled his eyes, frustrated and, as always, somewhat amused. I didn't find it funny. I was doing just fine before he arrived. Now he was probably going to get himself killed too.

Which was just great.

And it wasn't that…it was enough remembering him. But to _see_ him, in the (even dead) flesh; it was fantastic. And it made me think that, perhaps, some things_ were _worth living for. Which, when I was about to die, was not the best way to be thinking.

He was completely ignoring me, intently focused on whatever was coming through the trees. I knew who it was-pictured Jane's childlike face, then Alec's, then Demetri's. I shuddered involuntarily, as Edward sank into a hunting crouch in front of me. I almost rolled my eyes at this. I wasn't in the mood to be happy for his return-I was merely irritated. Of course I loved him-but clearly he didn't share that feeling anymore. I guess he might have blamed me for the 'downfall' of his father. I blamed myself, sometimes. But now he was just going to get himself killed; I suppose out of guilt.

I remembered, vaguely, remembering thinking that he was acting out of guilt before-but being proved wrong. It was something to do with the Volturi then, aswell; ah. Italy. Of course.

Except then, it turned out that he had loved me. He had been trying to protect me. But how could the same thing apply here?

A feral snarl rippled from his throat, and I walked around him, to stand in front of him. I felt the air move towards me as he reached out, and then withdrew his hands. Before I could blink, he was in front of me, infuriating. The anger was burning fiercer now. Didn't he care that I loved him? Was he going to be so selfish? I couldn't bear to have him killed because of me-and that's what would, inevitably, happen. I growled in return, and I thought I saw him shake his head.

I turned around, stalking away, settling upon the ground in the center of the meadow, as I had been before. I ignored him, waiting for those blood red eyes to pierce the scene, their voice to ripple the silence. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see him decimated. I hoped that, if the Volturi could easily reach me, they would leave him alone. After all, he couldn't cover all areas, could he? They should be able to slip through pretty easily.

I closed my eyes, waiting. I smile spread across my lips when I heard the soft drag of cloaks over leaves. Death in a cloak. How cliché.

"Ah. Edward. I must say, I _am_ surprised to see you here. I was under the impression that you and the res of the Cullens had departed." I was so shocked to hear Aro's voice that I ignored the irritation hidden behind a thin layer of humour. I ignored also, the responding growl. I turned around, staring at the pale, frail-looking cloaked figure before the crouching one. I did, indeed, see mild surprise on his face, and the irritation that I should have recognised. I knew that his attempt at pleasantry was simply a façade, and just wished that the whole thing would be over and done with quickly.

"So it is as I suspected," Aro murmured, eyes swivelling from Edward to me. I refused to recoil from that piercing red stare, but inside I was revolted. I pictured myself, alone, those red eyes descending, mouth fastening around 

my wrist; drinking. I shuddered again, and Aro seemed somewhat pleased with my reaction-only serving to increase my revulsion.

"Leave her alone," I rolled my eyes at the hissed words. What was the point? I was human. They were going to kill me. He needed to get over it. _I_ was the one dying. And I had already accepted it. Why couldn't he?

"We had an agreement, and, I'm sad to say, due to your side not being fulfilled, we will have to fulfil _our_ promise," Jane grinned maliciously at those words, "though I must say, it is a regret." I could see some sort of reflection of his words in his eyes, but knew I couldn't trust them. I wouldn't be surprised if the Volturi would be glad to be rid of me. I felt that the tension between them and the Cullens would only increase if a new member joined their coven. They already felt threatened.

"Well, do it then," I was surprised that I'd been able to speak, let alone in a calm and collected voice. Another hiss answered me, but I ignored it again. I stared straight at Aro, and saw something like amusement in his eyes.

When was everyone going to stop laughing at me?

"It is necessary. And I don't really want to hurt Edward here. And are you sure you haven't had a change of heart about joining me?" The answering growl seemed to confirm Aro's suspicions, and he nodded, the regret in his eyes again. I wish Edward would either talk or go away. Going away seemed the best option-if I heard his voice again, I wasn't sure if I could be quite so willing to end my life.

"Tonight." Well, there goes that.

"I'm sorry?" Aro seemed genuinely puzzled. I saw Edward, reluctantly, reach out his hand. Aro took it, something like greed on his face, though it quickly passed.

Only a few seconds later, Aro was nodding.

"Very well. We have an agreement. Although I must say that if anyone leaves the house during the process, we will be forced to take action." Edward nodded, gritting his teeth. Aro nodded to me, and then swept away, Jane, Alec and Demetri looking confused, angry, and cheated. I felt like laughing, just from seeing their faces.

But I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. What agreement had been made? Why was my death sentence being postponed, or something like that? Edward turned to me, wary, with the pained look in his eyes again.

"Bella. Could you-will you come back to the house? There's something we need to discuss." Suddenly I was exhausted-as though the indifference to dying had cost a huge effort. I nodded slowly, too tired to argue, trying not to trip over my own feet as I followed him back, through the trees.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

It took a long time to walk back to the road, but I guessed he didn't want to hold me, and so was therefore unable to run. There was a distinct tension in the air, but I ignored it, as he seemed to do. I had non idea what to say, and so I remained quiet. I thought I had an idea of what was going on, but it frightened me so much that I forced myself not to think about it. I was scared to think of anything, and so kept my mind as a blank, focusing on the nature around me. It no longer held the glorious tint of before, and it no longer enraptured me so totally.

He hovered in front of me, always moving forward a few steps ahead. He didn't look back, and I tried my best to avert my eyes from his moving body, my eyes darting around ahead and to the side. I didn't know how long it took to reach the road again, but it seemed like an awfully long time. He turned around, a question etched on his face-and I nodded, not even bothering to work out what that question was. I was too tired and confused to discuss much.

I realised what he was asking as he slowly opened the door to the drivers cab, and sat behind the wheel. I realised that it was probably a good thing for me not to drive, as, in the state I was in, crashing wouldn't really be unlikely.

The silence was maintained as the engine drowned all other noises out. It whined in protest as Edward pushed it to its limit, gripping the steering wheel hard enough to break it. I wondered why it didn't give under the pressure, and then realised that perhaps he didn't really want to wreck my truck. At least, I hoped he didn't.

I'd have to kill him if he wrecked my truck.

I chuckled quietly at that, and stopped suddenly as a scathing glare was thrown in my direction. I felt my cheeks heat up, and stared at my hands, not looking up until we stopped, the engine dying with a few splutters. Even then I only looked at the ground through the side window, refusing to acknowledge anything around me, frozen in my seat. I remained in that position even as the ground became Edward's shirt as he pulled open the door. He waited, and, finally, my legs moved, and I clambered out of the car.

The door was, for some reason, already open, and I walked in front of him to and through it, feeling a half-painful, half-pleasant pang of recognition in my chest. Looking around, I quickly realised that my mouth was hanging open as my eyes fell upon the pale, beautiful figures surrounding me. I hastily shut it as my eyes fell on the slight figure nearest me. Tears pooled in the corner of my eye as I met the butterscotch eyes gazing back at me.

And I froze totally as, quicker than my eyes could see, and before I could register anything, cold, hard arms locked around me.

I blinked once, and found that there were no longer arms around me, but a somewhat strained Edward gripping Alice in a hold of iron, and the rest of the Cullens further away from me than they were before. It was only then that I noticed the one missing member; but I did not question his absence, as it didn't take a genius to guess the reason.

"I don't mind. I'm happy to see you, too Alice. I missed you," My voice sounded dead to my ears, so I tried to inject some feeling into it-the numb from my surprise must be overwhelming, "But what's going on? I don't understand. I was ready for the Volturi to kill me-" I ignored the hiss that escaped from those beautiful, perfect lips, "And suddenly, they're just letting me go. And then I find myself here, and you're all here too. Seriously; what's going on?"

My face creased in confusion as I looked each of them in the eye. It didn't escape my notice that Esme couldn't quite hold my gaze.

"The Volturi will kill you if you are not transformed now. Tonight. You can either attempt to escape, which is rather inadvisable-or you can allow yourself to be…changed."

"I know the Volturi are going to kill me. Why do you think I was sitting in the field, waiting? Trying to avoid notice?" I rolled my eyes, turning to walk out the door, still too surprised and now somewhat irritated, to provide a proper explanation, or reply. But, before my foot could reach the ground, a snarling figure held my arm in a grip stronger than iron. I sighed in an attempt to cover the waves that were coursing through me, of an emotion that I had not experienced since he had left. It was all I could do to keep myself upright.

"You are _not_ going to die today."

"Who are you to decide my fate?" His expression was stricken at that, and he seemed lost for words. Then, pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand, he turned his face away.

"Bella…do you want to die?" Esme tentatively stepped forward. I understood that this was an honest, actual question. She wanted to know exactly what I wanted. And that meant I had to think seriously about my answer.



"I don't…I…I don't want anyone else to be hurt because of me. I don't want anyone else to have to risk anything. I don't want anyone to go to an effort to save something that isn't worth saving…" I trailed off, staring at my feet. Next to me, Edward tensed, obviously struggling with something.

"Why don't you think you're worth saving?" Alice demanded, arms folded, one eyebrow raised, as if this was all rather amusing to her, just a way to pass the time.

"I don't think the life I have is worth saving. Well-worth the effort." Once again, none of them seemed to know what to say, and just stood there, still and perfect. After a few seconds, I shrugged in an 'I-told-you-so' gesture, and attempted to leave. Much to my irritation, the grip on my arm tightened, and another growl reached my ears. I rolled my eyes, but didn't struggle any further.

"Well what exactly do you plan to do?"


	21. Chapter Twenty

I could feel the blood pulsing through my lips as I pressed them ever tighter together. I still didn't know why they were helping me, or risking anything, or suggesting these crazy things. I had outright cast down the idea of attempting escape-the Volturi's guard was many, and they would be sure to watch all areas. Not to mention they could find me anywhere in the world. I didn't feel like spending my life running-especially when it put people in danger.

It didn't matter that I had objected to escaping-they continued to create plans and routes and disguises. I got the feeling they were talking among themselves, and I was merely an irritating bystander. Which is kind of how it was. Maybe they were just bored, and treating this like a project; the impossible task, getting the girl who managed to always get herself into trouble out of it. Unlikely to work, but worth a shot. I rolled my eyes, wishing they would just let me go out there and die, like I was supposed to. I mean, they weren't going to wait forever. What had Edward said? They had allowed him one night, and then tomorrow, they would check up on me.

To see if I was writhing in agony.

"Bite me." My voice was strangely calm, even to my ears. I realised that I was tired of all the discussion about ridiculous stuff. I couldn't even summon the energy to find out why they were so desperate to save me-I just knew that transforming me into a vampire, like them, would be the one way to satisfy both of us-I would be 'saved' and the Volturi wouldn't need to kill me anymore. Everyone's happy.

Although I got the feeling the Volturi would rather have my cold dead corpse than have me a cold dead vampire.

They'd want me a dead dead vampire. They wanted the Cullen clan reduced, if not eliminated. They weren't going to take a new addition lightly. I would have to go. After all, they could kill easily. Edward had gone to them to die-I could do the same. When I was a strong, fast, unruly vampire, they wouldn't be able to stop me, and I could meet my end the way I chose. I wouldn't have to plague them for eternity…

Only when a snarl filled the room and the grip on my arm tightened considerably did I realise that I had spoken aloud; but a thoroughly confused Alice made me doubt that. My knees buckled under the pain of those cold, crushing fingers locked around my arm. I found my voice, and a high, small squeak escaped from my lips. Edward looked at me, shock on his face, and, suddenly sheepish, released his grip, though not fully. I attempted to massage my arm, where it felt like it had been broken, but my hand was knocked away, and another hand began to rub the surely bruised skin beneath the locking hand, though Edward continued to look away from me as his fingers massaged my arm.

"Not if that's what you're planning." Once I had at least half gotten over the pain, I allowed the confusion to set in.

"How do you-"

"Not now." I didn't waste energy being annoyed at his snapping tone. I was so confused, hurt and tired that I just wanted to go to sleep, and forget everything.

I didn't realise Alice had left the room until she entered it again, brandishing a black leather suitcase, before setting it on the table and undoing the clasps. I swallowed hard as she withdrew a syringe, and I knew instinctively it was filled with morphine. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to be led over to the recliner in a corner of the room, and ignored the scratch as the needle entered my arm. I recognised the feel of the drug as it swept through me, numbing every muscle in my body. I vaguely remembered a time when Carlisle had been talking about Emmett, and his change; how the venom had simply 'eaten' the morphine, rendering it ineffective.

Either I ignored the other injections, or the morphine had numbed me to them, as I didn't notice them at all. Instead, all I noticed were Edward's beautiful golden eyes, staring down at me. My senses were dulled, and my mind was fuzzy and dazed. I couldn't understand much, in my confused state; one thing stood out in my mind.

"I love you, Edward. So much." A tear ran down my cheek as I realised that my telling him was in vain; he couldn't ever loved me as I loved him. And, as I thought that, his eyes visibly darkened, and his face bent down to my arm.

Then, he bit me.


	22. Chapter Twenty One

**Okay. From this point on it gets kind of hard-what with the release of Breaking Dawn, it's difficult to try and make this my own. So, if there are some references to Stephanie Meyer's portrayal of life as a vampire, or bits mixed in that appear to be from her book, I'm sorry. But it's really difficult, now that that's written to make it original XD**

I recognised the pain from that time when James bit me; but that didn't make it any more bearable. It took little time for the venom to effectively destroy the morphine, and then I was in totally agony. I tried to ignore, to almost retreat somewhere where it wouldn't affect me. I tried everything I could think of to just lessen the pain; nothing worked. I was writhing wherever I was, not having a clue about what was going on around me, about what was happening out in the world. All I could think about was the fire that consumed me, burning every cell of my body. I knew that it wasn't actual fire, but I could hardly care.

It must have been only three days, but it seemed like eternity that I was just lying there, burning away. Edward and others had talked about being able to hear people and such when they were in a venom induced state, but I had nothing of that. The first thing I heard was moments before I opened my eyes.

"Should be soon…maybe in the next hour. She's stopped moving."

Every thing echoed, sounds ricocheting off the walls. I could hear the air move as someone walked, their light footfalls; I could hear beyond the walls, the door, to the outside world. I heard the wildlife, the plants, every whisper of every creature, every whistle of the wind. My eyes fluttered open, rescuing me from the world of darkness inside my mind, and I gazed upon a ceiling. Any who were standing around me were not with my immediate vision-but I could hear them. Every gentle movement of their body; though there was less than I might have expected.

But then, they were vampires.

I studied the ceiling, amazed at every inch of new area that I could distinguish. Everything was so defined, and I saw things that I never could have before. I took in a breath, and relished the new tastes, the smells that delighted my senses. I closed my eyes again, and, flexing my muscles, sat up.

I opened my eyes, and saw a collection of people eyeing my warily. I looked at them, seeing them in a new light. There was much about the way they looked at me that I didn't understand. There was much about everything around me that I didn't understand, and, remembering that I once was human, I looked back upon my memories; but all I could remember was intense pain. As the memory of it enshrouded my mind, I snarled, crouching into an offensive position. The youngest looking male stepped in front of the rest, shielding them, which I found strange. Why wouldn't the large one defend them, with the muscles? And anyway, it wasn't like I was going to attack them. I might not be entirely sure of what was going on, but I was certain that I was outnumbered. That was too much to miss.

I slowly raised into a standing position, my eyes flickering over the collection of vampires before me. I tried to remember something about them; surely I knew them as a human, or they wouldn't be here, now. Did one of them transform me into a vampire? Did one of them bite me? Did they try to kill me?

Thinking about killing brought the burning of my throat to my attention. An intense hunger consumed me, and I snarled again, the pain of it nowhere near the burning, but still painful enough. A breeze blew through the room from a window somewhere, and I caught the most delicious scent. I could hear, though indistinctly and far away, the beating of a heart, the pulse of some animal. I felt that perhaps there was a better taste out there, but the need to satiate my thirst was unbearable, and so without more hesitation, I leapt away, and, running as though it was the only thing I'd ever known, sped away from the motionless group of people.

I heard talking from behind me, loud to my powerful new senses, and then footsteps following me; but I ignored them, too caught up in the hunt. I had no idea really of what I was doing, but it every moment was instinctive, natural. I quickly caught the scent of the animal once again, and followed in hot pursuit. It was mere moments before I saw some sort of deer, leaping through the trees in a vain attempt to elude its predator.

Seconds later, I was bent over its struggling body, draining the blood from the gradually emptying veins. I continued to drink until the flow ran dry, and then I crouched for a few more seconds, listening. I was fully aware now that something had followed me, and, released from the powerful grip of the thirst, was able to think about my next course of action. Was the being a threat, or simply curious? Was it stronger than me? Was it likely to prove a danger to me, or would it be safe to approach it?

I felt strong, fast and invincible, and so slowly rose to stand, turning around to face whatever it was. I could not see the person from where I was standing, and so slowly walked forward, following the scent that was carried on the few wisps of wind that passed my way.

Walking around a thick tree trunk, I saw the young male that had defended the others before. I narrowed my eyes, curious as to his intentions. Then, I saw the others who flanked him, black cloaks hanging from their fragile-looking frames. I felt sure that others were concealed in the trees, and so flexed my muscles, ready to either spring or run. The eldest stepped forward, his papery skin fascinating me. I was aware of how his eyes were fixed upon me, hungry and curious. They frightened me a little, and so I looked away, determined not to back down or show weakness. I caught a small shake of the head from the young male, and glared at him. He suddenly looked shocked, and also gazed at me with curiosity, though without the hunger that the elder vampire showed.



"How very interesting. She is quite unlike others that I have seen." The quiet, amused voice frustrated me, making me want to run away, for some unidentifiable reason. I had no idea what he was talking about, and wasn't too keen to find out. He sighed, and started to walk away. The others followed him, though I sensed some sort of regret.

"You have fulfilled your promise, and, though I am highly interested in the girl, I suppose I must fulfil my side of our little bargain. But I promise you I will be back, to find out more." He laughed, and suddenly he was gone, though it may have just been he was hidden by the trees.

The male approached me, almost warily, as though trying to measure my reaction. I was now amused and irritated, and merely watched him, with a little grin on my face. I felt somehow superior, as though I had achieved something unexpected of me. I wanted to show that I, somehow, had an upper hand. I had no idea of where any of this came from.

"Who _are_ you?" My voice sounded strange to my ears-I remembered it suddenly, from my human memories, and now it was…more animal, but more beautiful at the same time. Like an evil enchantress-terrible, and lovely at the same time.

And here I was, comparing myself to things in fairy tales.

Fairy tales…

His face suddenly twisted, distorted in a mixture of confusion and-hurt. I wondered about that. What about that simple question could have caused that pain? I watched as comprehension suddenly dawned on his face, though his eyes still bore some of that hurt.

"Edward." He looked expectantly at me as he said that, but I could hardly care; his voice entranced me. I felt a twinge somewhere inside of me, and I had no time to find that strange, mesmerised as I was. It was beauty like I'd never experience before, and I couldn't possibly describe it, not even inside my own head.

And then, a wave hit me-a wave of memories, emotions, tears-and love.

I was in his arms without another moments hesitation.


End file.
